Because I don't want to be a quitter

I'm back after almost a year.  I don't know if its my commitment issues or my perfection issues, but I have just not been able to do it.  I get these intrusive thoughts about how no one probably cares what I have to say here (and if so - so what, I can say whatever I want) And there are the worries about what is and is not appropriate to post on the internet these days.  I need to chill out about my need for a cohesive theme and just say whatever I feel like.

I'm 11 weeks out from finishing the longest year of my life.  I will be graduating with my BSN and be able to become an RN and hope to find employment somewhere in this tough economy.  I have been taking mental health nursing this past month which has been pretty challenging.  Its so different from my other rotations.  Instead of a big list of tasks, we spend our days - communicating theraputically.  I feel like I have faced a lot of my own not so normal mental health while trying to figure out how to interact with patients without being an idiot.  I'm somewhat trying to maintain my 4.0 but this class, though not the most difficult, may throw me off. 

A.G. has been going to half-day preschool this year.  He absolutely loves his days there plus the hour and 20 minute bus ride. He eats food these days.  Its not a lot of variety but he does it all himself.  Usually a cup of milk and half an everything bagel toasted with Chive&onion cream cheese for breakfast; Carb-filled snack foods at school;  Sometimes sandwich meat and banana and milk for evening snack; lots of graham crackers and goldfish in between. He loves to play with his "woo woo" train and watch woo-woo movies and read woo-woo books.  He is getting some great words added to his vocabulary.  My favorite is that when I ask a question, he'll say "yes mom."   Definitely making huge progress in learning new things that awhile ago I would have never thought possible.

I am going through my ups and downs on how I feel about him.  I want to squeeze in every bit of happy life experience we can, but at the same time, I dread the day when life is not so happy. 

RL is waiting on his acceptance letter to start nursing school in the fall.  Hopefully, I will find some sort of employment when I graduate and then the three of us will move into some sort of home. We still live with our very patient relatives who are likely eager to get rid of us.

I'm officially back and am going to update regularly. I'm going to try to chill out and let go of my grandiose notions of starting an award winning blog instantly.  Instead I'll just work on saying what's on my mind.